A year in Review

Everyone seems to be posting these long histories lately...so if you'll bear with me, it might not be that long, but I'll give you a history lesson anyway.
What a year it has been. First of all this is Sammy posting. I post little because my hubby usually does it all for me. A year ago this week I was very very pregnant. Although my high school English teacher tells me no one is very pregnant (you either are or you not), I truly was. I had just learned the tragic news of my first cousin Toby taking his own life. You see my mom has eight brothers and sisters, so cousins are numerous in my family, but there were just a couple of us that are close, myself, Tiffany, and Toby. Our moms were always close so we were too. Toby was at my house growing up as much as he was at home. My mom watched him as long as I can remember (Toby was 6 years younger than myself), then in seventh grade my parents instilled much needed responsibility on my part to watch him by myself in the summer months. So Toby and I would usually go back to sleep after he arrived at nearly dawn, then get up and start our day. I am thankful my parents entrusted me with so much at a young age, I might not have been so grateful then, but I credit that as making me have such a work ethic to work 2 jobs in college to make it. At that age of 13 I was responsible for he and myself, as well as cleaning up dishes, laundry, bathroom, sheets, and floors; as well as have supper on the stove. We had a pretty good little system worked out where Toby helped me alot, but watched TV and read alot to himself too. He was so smart. We read many a books together and grew up together really. I did that every summer til I graduated high school. I didn't grow up with a lot, but we were happy.
So that was just a little history for you. Again to a year ago, I went to visitation for Toby and his family, then the next day didn't go to the funeral..i delivered my beautiful baby girl. Abby Kate (baby strawberry) was born very quickly, nearly into the arms of my husband and a wonderful nurse named barbara wynaught..I poured over scripture trying to make since of it all with this senseless death...do saved people kill themselves? I poured my heart into prayer and scripture and came up with this. Satan knows our weaknesses, he thrives on them. He uses them like a game of chess..but I don't want Satan to have any credit here. My God is wonderful and everlasting. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. HE saved me from my sins of yesterday, today and tomorrow. That is all I really need to know.I had shared this wonderful good news with Toby. In fact, one of the only things they found sitting out in his room was my card telling him how God doesn't make junk, but had a wonderful purpose for his life. It was a comfort to know, he was comforted by those words at some point.
I brought home my baby girl and was just enjoying being a mother of two. I LOVE my job. I love being a mom. That next week Erin came over. She had a difficult month or so, but Erin always seemed to pull right out of it. She brought gifts for everyone in the house, held my baby girls extra tight. 2 weeks later as I lay next to her rubbing her aching back listening to her breaths getting less and less I told her how much I loved her and kissed her like i always do. She went to be with Jesus that next morning.
Okay, i am getting to the point now. i am not pouring my heart out to say poor pitiful me and what a year. But the wonderful way God has. The kings left and I was devastated again. We have eaten countless meals and conversations with that family. I miss them so bad I could walk to Carolina to see them i think. My struggles with church friends had me in such a rut it was hard to see out...but here is the point. God is good all the time. He really and truly is. He brought me my beloved Tara just when i needed her. God knew what a year i was going to have, so he gave Sparta this tiny little ball of sunshine for me to share in. I didn't know Tara very well when they married. It wasn't her fault, she lived in another state. But she has grown to love my children like her own. Next, God brought me this sunday school class that i begrudgingly agreed to teach, I was enjoying listening to Jerry every week. Oh my how they bring joy into my life. I look forward to them every week. God fills my life with such joy everyday it pours out of my cup. My kids bring me such happiness. So i guess i am writing this more for me than any of you. But thank you for praying for me this last year. I have felt every word. My abby is turning one in 2 days! she is walking everywhere these days. She says a few words like "daddy, momma, and get it!" Allie is writing anything and everything and reading some as well. She is a delight to have conversations with. I have a wonderful husband who is my best friend! How could i ask for more? God is good in bad times and good times. He grows us in the valley. He sure has grown me!! Thank you God!